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Recently, I provided autism-informed support and coaching services in a public school, where I visited a first-grade classroom. I watched as a little girl asked for help in tearing her perforated page out of her workbook.  A peer offered to help, and she accepted. As he carefully tore the page out for her, he accidentally ripped it…and then, the little girl melted down. She cried big tears, and repeatedly screamed “noooooooo!” Then, she flopped to the floor.

The teacher quietly noted to me that this is the child she needs the most help with—lots of meltdowns and many “defiant” behaviors. She asked if I had any ideas about how to help calm down this situation, so I approached the little girl.  I asked her if I could see her paper; she handed it to me and said that the boy “did it on purpose.”  It was clear to me that the boy did not, but this was her perception. I tried to validate her feelings and told her that I was so sorry that her paper was ripped. I asked her if she had any ideas on how to fix the torn paper (“what can fix this?”), and she said “tape.” I modeled for her to raise her hand and ask the teacher if she could get tape. She did so and brought the tape over.

Once the paper was taped to her satisfaction, I circled back to the peer issue. I drew two stick figures on a blank sheet. One stick figure depicted her (she helped me add details), and one stick figure depicted the peer. Her thought bubble read “I need help with my paper.”  His thought bubble read “I want to help her.” His next thought bubble read “Uh oh, I tore it” (he gave me those words to add to the bubble). Once complete, we read this together. My aim with this strategy was to concretely clarify for her the peer’s intent or perspective. Visually depicting this helped her to see what he was thinking, and to move on from feeling angry with him. With a little autism-informed support, her affect changed, and she started to relax.

“…it is critical that we look below the surface to better understand the behaviors we see above the surface.”

Just when I thought things were settling down… she noticed that several of her teardrops had stained her repaired paper. “Noooooo!” A meltdown ensued. I brought several tissues over and suggested that we wipe the page off. She did this, but the stains were still there. I grabbed a sticky note, drew a teardrop shape, and wrote “1 hour” inside it. I told her that within one hour, the water would dry, and the stains would be gone.  I left the note on her desk and sat quietly. Once again, her affect changed, and she started to reengage in the next activity. About 20 minutes later, I pointed out her paper to her and she showed a tiny smile, because the stains were already gone. It is not always so easy to support someone through a meltdown, and I certainly do not always get it right. But this scenario illustrates how a few quick strategies, rooted in an understanding of autism, made a difference.

When it was time for small and large group instruction blocks, it was evident that this student would also benefit from a visual schedule that shows her what would happen and in what order, within each of those activity blocks. How long will I be here? How much work do I have to do? How many activities? These are some of questions we can answer for this student, in a way that is understandable to her. Proactively answering these questions may prevent confusion and frustration that she might otherwise experience in these moments. A simple visual breakdown of the number of tasks to complete, or a visual timer, could also be helpful in these activities. So, the teacher and I developed several visual checklists to help provide this clarity.

“When the teaching team is equipped with understanding and effective support strategies, the student is empowered.”

Concrete, visual and clear… these are some of the autism-informed support features that this student needs in order to be successful in this environment. This student also needs us to look at her behavior through the right lenses. All students do. This brings me back to that original description of her behavior as “defiant.” Such terms as “defiant,” “disrespectful,” or “manipulative” are not helpful or productive descriptions of challenging behavior. These descriptions are highly subjective, emotion-laden and serve to label the individual. They suggest that the individual intended or planned to behave in this way.  These are “dead-end” descriptions, because they don’t lead us in the direction of any strategies that are responsive to the underlying needs the behavior is communicating. These descriptions also suggest we might not be looking at the individual’s behavior through the lens of their autism. In an effort to reframe this language and pattern of thinking, I tend to ask such questions as,

• What do I know about their autism that is influencing the behavior we see?
• What is happening right now within the environment that is playing a role?
• Fundamentally, what unmet need(s) is this behavior expressing?

In other words, it is critical that we look below the surface to better understand the behaviors we see above the surface.

The little girl in this classroom was exhibiting these behaviors NOT because she was defiant, but rather, because she did not understand the intention of her peer in that moment, she struggled to problem-solve in the situation, she could not see the light at the end of the tunnel (e.g., “my paper will NEVER dry!”), and she struggled to cope with those big feelings.  But once we understand these needs, we can provide instruction and support that addresses the needs. And in this case, that is what her teaching team did. When the teaching team is equipped with understanding and effective autism-informed support strategies, the student is empowered.

For information regarding our training partnerships with school systems and other organizations, visit our Autism Training for Professionals page.

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