My recent trip to Italy got me thinking deeply about my son, Raunaq, and his experience with autism. At 26, he’s navigated life through a lens that, as much as I talk about autism every day, I’ve struggled to fully understand. Raunaq has nonverbal, level 3 autism, which presents unique challenges that shape his world in ways I’m still learning to comprehend.
Preparing for a new place, new experience
I realized that learning about a new culture and its social norms is a process not unlike the one many autistic individuals go through. As a traveler, I prepared myself for the language differences, unfamiliar customs, unique food, and new ways of interacting. Yet, despite all my research, nothing truly prepared me for the reality of being in that situation.
Much like how we prepare individuals with autism using social stories to help them understand and adjust to changes through prior knowledge, I too had prepared for the unfamiliarity of traveling. However, even with all that planning and theoretical understanding, I still found myself grappling with the uncertainty of navigating a foreign environment.
Clear, simple information
A couple of weeks before the trip, I created a social story for Raunaq, reading it to him daily in the hopes that when he encountered those changes, something would click and help him adapt more easily. Surprisingly, though, it was harder for me to adjust to the completely new environment than it was for him.
I always assumed English was a universal language, and as long as I could communicate in my familiar language, I’d be fine. However, I quickly realized how many barriers existed when I didn’t know Italian. For instance, I needed to ask the hotel to add a curtain to the bathroom, since there was no door separating it from the main room. But I couldn’t rely on gestures or visuals, as I had to explain this over the phone to a receptionist who didn’t speak English. I remember slowing down my speech, carefully choosing simple words to get my point across.
This experience reminded me of a similar concept in the world of autism—how important it is to provide information in a clear, straightforward manner, avoiding complex language, slang, or unnecessary verbiage that could confuse or overwhelm.
In the world of autism, a similar principle applies—providing information in a clear, simple format, avoiding unnecessary slang or complex language that might cause confusion.
The Lesson: Slow down and keep it simple.
Navigating, adapting, communicating
We were in a place with long lines to order, pick up food, and leave. While waiting, I had talked to Raunaq about the importance of being patient during long waits, which he was used to, especially with music playing in his ears. But at some point, the woman in front of us turned around and began yelling at him, as if he had done something wrong. Perhaps my son appeared in a way she wasn’t used to.
I immediately stepped in to explain that Raunaq has autism and meant no harm or ill intent. Once she understood, she became deeply remorseful, repeatedly apologizing and even shaking uncontrollably. I ended up giving her a hug and calming her down, reassuring her that it was okay—she didn’t know, and neither did we at first.
We both parted ways, but I realized something profound: we had experienced this interaction without knowing each other’s language. Yet, through body language, gestures, eye contact, and even vibrations, we communicated.
Our individuals are incredibly sensitive to the environment around them and to how situations unfold.
The Lesson: Communication doesn’t always require a shared language to be understood.
In that moment, I realized that my son and I were both navigating this new experience in very similar ways—learning and adapting together, in our own ways, to a world that sometimes doesn’t fully understand us.
The Lesson: In both the world of autism and when navigating unfamiliar territories, visuals play a crucial role in helping individuals understand and adapt. Just as maps and guides help us chart new environments, visuals, social stories, and other aids provide essential support in navigating the complexities of social transitions and change.
Better understanding
By the seventh day in Italy, I could see how much more we had adapted compared to the first day, when I felt lost, confused, and out of place. By the end of the week, things felt clearer, and I had a better understanding of how to navigate this unfamiliar environment. This shift in perspective was made possible by relying on various tools, apps, and the knowledge I had gained on how to cope and adjust.
By the end of this trip, I was humbled by the realization of what my son faces every day. It highlighted how important it is to understand what works for him and what doesn’t, and how we can improve our lives by embracing this knowledge.
Final Lesson: This journey taught me that adaptability and understanding are key—both for navigating new environments and for supporting my son.
In conclusion, here are a few tips I would like to share:
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Preparation is key
Before the trip, we created a social story for Raunaq, explaining what to expect during the journey, including the different locations, routines, and potential changes. We reviewed this daily, so he was mentally prepared for the experience.
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Use Visual Supports
Just as I relied on maps and apps, Raunaq benefits from visuals to help him navigate new environments. Visual schedules, symbols, and social stories can make transitions smoother and reduce anxiety.
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Bring Comfort Items
Familiar items, like his favorite headphones and music, helped Raunaq feel secure in unfamiliar settings. For him, these items acted as a grounding tool to cope with overstimulation in public spaces.
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Communicate with Patience
Clear, simple communication is essential. I found that slowing down my speech and using basic language without complex explanations helped avoid confusion. Being patient and giving him time to process was key.
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Plan for Downtime
Travel can be overwhelming. We made sure to have quiet moments during the day for Raunaq to unwind, whether it was in a calm space in our hotel room or a quiet park bench.
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Prepare for Social Interactions
Just like I did with social stories, I prepped Raunaq for potential social situations that might occur, such as waiting in line or interacting with people. We talked about how he might feel and how he could respond.
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Use Technology to Your Advantage
Apps for maps, translation, and navigation were invaluable. I also used apps for relaxation techniques to help Raunaq manage stress when needed.
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Be Ready for Unexpected Situations
Despite all the preparation, things don’t always go as planned. Be flexible and prepared to adapt. For example, when we encountered a misunderstanding in the hotel, I calmly explained Raunaq’s needs, which led to a positive resolution.
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Focus on Positive Reinforcement
We celebrated the little victories along the way. Whether it was a successful transition or handling a new situation well, I made sure to reinforce those positive moments to boost his confidence.
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Maintain a Sense of Calm and Routine
While we were exploring new places, maintaining some routine was helpful. Keeping mealtimes, bedtime, and even certain familiar activities in place helped Raunaq feel more secure despite the unfamiliar environment.
By embracing patience, communication, and the tools that help us thrive, we can transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Every new experience, whether it’s a trip abroad or a step in my son’s journey with autism, is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and build a better path forward together.